One of the biggest mysteries of creating a family through science and magic is - How? What are the steps? What does fertility treatment cost? How about adoption? The process is so emotional and mysterious that I yearn for cold, hard facts. Numbers. Lengths of time. Concrete pieces of information that cannot be parsed for deeper meaning. Information that won't change depending on which receptionist answers the phone, which nurse calls me back, or which search term I use.

Of course, this search is futile because everyone's process is unique to them. On this page you will find our personal step-by-step processes, including each significant step on our journey. If you would like to see the version that includes specific costs please send us an email at

Maybe one day there will be hundreds of personal chronicles like these, and we non-traditional family-creators will be able to find an average, a trend, a "most-of-the-time"...ultimately a sense of peace.

fertility treatment

Hard Sciences

This timeline follows our journey through infertility treatment, including steps and related costs.


Social Sciences

This timeline traces the adoption route toward creating a family, including steps and related costs. (Currently this path is much shorter and cheaper, and it is only a matter of time before this changes.)