It is done! 7.12 million spermies are wriggling around in my uterus, trying to find and establish contact with an egg. I don't know why, but I got so nervous right before the appointment. My heart was racing and I was trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. I knew exactly what was going to happen - they put the tiniest amount of sperm ever into a catheter, they open me up with the speculum, they stick the catheter through the cervix, and squirt it in - is that gross? Yeah. But it's also easy peasy. Anyway, it took longer to fill out the paperwork than to actually do the IUI and then I had to lie down on the table with my hips propped up for 15 minutes. Bing bang boom.
It's hard to describe how I'm feeling about this whole thing. I feel an odd sense of relief at finally having achieved one goal we have been working on for over a year. I'm filled with anxiety over all the minuscule things I can or should do to improve the odds of this cycle being successful. I'm calmed by the knowledge that tomorrow I have an appointment to discuss the financial aspects of traveling to CA for IVF and if I get a negative, a couple days later I'll be on the path to a better shot. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I am excited about the possibility that this could work.
I keep thinking about the statistic I was given - this will have a 10% chance of working. There was a 0.05% chance that I would be born with a hole in my heart. But I was. Jews are 2.2% of the American population - I'm one of them. Researchers argue that 10% of the population is gay - that's me! So if I can experience or be all these things, can't I also get pregnant on the first try with severe endometriosis and a diminished ovarian reserve?