Petrificus Totalus (or, the stops and starts of infertility treatment)

B

...And everything comes to a screeching halt. At our appointment with the RE on Thursday we had our options laid out for us. IUI is basically a shot in the dark. Literally. The doc was careful to note that it is our decision, but he said that after they perform surgery again to remove the latest endometrioma from my right ovary, it will be fairly useless. His words, not mine. (Don't get me wrong - he's really kind and friendly...but still. Useless?)

Next, IVF. He explained the entire process step by step, starting with a retrieval cycle to rescue my eggs from my useless ovaries. Next, I would go into surgery to remove the endometrioma and some fibroids.  After that I would give my body three months to heal, and then be put on depolupron X for two months, essentially putting me into a chemical menopause to stave off the endometriosis. Then, and only then, would we attempt a transfer. 

We left feeling pretty good about our level of understanding of the process. The money? Not so much. When they sent us the pricing chart they included a fun little note that our insurance doesn't cover anything related to IVF. Now, this runs directly contrary to what they told me when I was shopping for insurance and they said, "we cover 50% of fertility testing and treatment." So we're looking at a $46,000-$51,000 process (range depends on meds, # of ultrasounds, etc.) that has a 65%-75% chance of working. And that is for one - one retrieval, one transfer. 

There are so many people who do this. I don't know how, but they do. Credit card debt? Loans? Bank jobs? Not only am I stunned by the amount, I also feel this misplaced guilt about hesitating. If I'm not willing to spend this amount of money, when so many people are, do I not want to be a parent badly enough? I know that is silly, but the feeling is there. So where next? On Monday I have an appointment with the OBGYN who is (was?) going to perform the surgery and I am going to ask her for her opinion on the likelihood of success through IUI. Maybe she will think differently. 

Confundo! (or, infertility is confusing...even to doctors)

Alohomora! (or, unlocking the door to adventures in infertility)