Accio Period! (or, the ways infertility treatment changes your mindset)


One of the most peculiar aspects of going through infertility treatment is how your mindset shifts when it comes to your period. I used to dread my period - don't most of us? At least, us lesbians who aren't worried about accidental pregnancies. My periods have always been incredibly painful - I thought that's how everyone's periods felt until I found out I had stage four endometriosis. Accompanying the pain was your typical bloating, exhaustion, having to carry a purse. The. Worst. 

Infertility treatment is a whole new world. No matter what test is coming up next or what procedure you are undergoing, it can't happen until your period starts. At least, that is my experience. With stage four endometriosis, I was put on birth control straight through; no sugar pills, just hormones after hormones after hormones. Periods are not good for endometriosis. But periods are necessary for treatment! So every time I need to do something new, I have to stop the birth control and wait for my period to start. Even if I wait until the last day of pills and then stop, it always takes longer than it seems like it should to get started.

So here I am today, the day after I stopped the pills. The day I thought I would start - straight ladies, isn't that the day I should start? But no. I had the option of stopping my pills earlier, but I was on an overnight retreat in the mountains for work and I was worried I would start and not have signal to call the clinic and miss my day three ultrasound and and and and and...and never get pregnant, basically. (Another fun side effect of infertility treatment - constant catastrophizing! And that's before I've even started any meds.) So I wait with bated breath, anticipating with excitement the long-dreaded period. I invite the pain! I welcome the bloating with open, flabby arms. Exhaustion, come at me! Let's do this.

Shrinking Solution (or, roadblocks on the journey to motherhood)

Cheering Charm (or, the decision to try IUI)