Well, we have finally come to a decision. Our emotions have been all over the place as we have tried to accept the choice to move on, gotten excited over Google searches leading down optimistic paths, and simmered in general anxiety throughout it all. Ultimately, we decided to go into the doctor for a consultation - it's the only part of this whole thing that is free! The doctor still insisted that IVF was the best option but said that we could try an IUI cycle with Clomid and injectibles with about a 10% success rate.
Ultimately, the injectibles are not as expensive as we thought they would be - we are looking at the cost of a regular IUI cycle plus about $1100. We decided that was worth it, whether for a baby or for closure. I'm not sure if we will try more than once or not, but right now moving through this process is a psychological step in the right direction, whether or not it concludes in a positive way. Then again, who knows how I will feel if it fails - I have found that I really don't know myself and my emotions as well as I thought I did. Or maybe the emotions are just different or more intense on this fertility journey than on other challenges life has thrown my way.
In the meantime, a magical moment that gave me joy today was that my question was read on Matt & Doree's Eggcellent Adventure - an incredible podcast that everyone should listen to, regardless of their fertility status. Matt & Doree are on their own infertility journey and demonstrate such patience, mutual respect, and incredible senses of humor...they are an inspiring and entertaining. You can check out their podcast wherever you do podcasts, and they have an incredibly supportive Facebook group that has grown out of the listener base.